So I have had a right week of it.
Monday started with me completely sleeping through my alarm and missing my long awaited asthma clinic appointment. I woke up at Matt's at 6:30 as he was heading off to work bright and early; unfortunately his new house only came with one set of keys which means that I have to leave when he does so it can be locked up safely. I got home two hours before my appointment was due to decided to shut my eyes for a bit, of course I set my alarm just incase. Next thing I know I sleepily open my eyes and it's 10:30... I managed to miss my appointment by a solid hour and half and slept through 3 minutes of my alarm (Lion King's - Circle of Life). I felt so bad for messing around the poor nurse but I was also livid with myself. I had waited for that appointment for two weeks and my asthma has gradually been getting a lot worse.
I know that asthma needs to be controlled and mine definitely isn't. I rang the Dr's and they were strangely not bothered at all! Thankfully she managed to slot me back in for an appointment this morning. Which, by some miracle I did not miss! Unfortunately she confirmed that my asthma has indeed worsened and the medication I am on now, of one blue inhaler when needed, is no longer working. I was sent away with a brown, steroid inhaler to use every day. This is so strange, I was first told I had asthma when I was 8 but was told it was only bought on my my allergies and therefore not really 'proper asthma' and more 'asthmatic episodes'. Now, 14 years later it's suddenly gotten worse. It is still hugely triggered by my allergies; Matt recently worked one day a week helping at a stables which caused me great problems thanks to my horse allergy. However, now if I laugh too hard or go from warm air to cold air, my chest feels tight and I start to wheeze. Not great! So now I have two lovely inhalers to use, and one of them has to be every day.
I also had a very unsuccessful visit to my stoma nurse on Tuesday. Again I was up and out of the house at 7am, drove 40 minutes to the hospital, found parking (which is always a nightmare) & made my way to Outpatients 2, across the hospital. After 10 minutes of waiting I poked my head in to the office only to see that there was a decorator in there. I did start to wonder what on earth was going on! It turned out that nobody seemed to have any record of my appointment, but someone would come down to see me anyway. 20 minutes later nobody showed and I decided to leave, I let the receptionist know and headed off to Uni. It turns out that I was supposed to go to another hospital to see my normal stoma nurse. I think it was a huge mis communication as I thought I was seeing a different stoma nurse at a different hospital... Nobodies fault but very interesting and a complete waste of my time.
This week I have also had my flu jab. I am high on the list of people who need them due to this chronic disease, imuno-suppressents and asthma. I have had the flu before and it definitely isn't nice so hopefully this will help me avoid it!
This week my Mum showed me an amazing article in The Sunday Times Magazine. The front cover showed this extremely brave soldier, who is a triple amputee with a stoma bag. I think this man is incredible, he is just 20 and amazingly courageous. Recently I have been having a bit of a tough time, I feel really stressed and overwhelmed with a lot of things in my life. I have realised that I have lost a lot of my confidence and self esteem that I used to have. I hate that I am anxious and worry so much, and wish I could snap out of it. This isn't because of Margaret but I do think a lot of it comes down to how ill I was and for so long. I have been dwelling in all my problems rather than pulling myself together and proactively doing something about them. This image really hit home, and put everything in to perspective.
Lots of love