Tuesday 4 June 2013

Bend your knees.

Hi Guys!

So after the pretty hefty piece of news I thought I would update you with everything else that has been going on in the past few days.

I would like to start off by saying a huge thank you to everyone that has been in touch. Since the wonderful Lord Sugar retweeted my blog I have been blown away with the number of people who have read my blog and got in contact. I have now gone way over 10,000 views which is insane and something I never imagined!!
Last night I was starting to feel very low, I think it really hit me what was going to happen and I felt really down in the dumps. Then I was flooded with messages of support and well wishes from complete strangers. I can't tell you what a difference it has made, and I still can't get my head around it all. So thank you to everyone who is now reading or following my blog and to all who have messaged me and retweeted it. You have made me one very very happy girl! I am over whelmed with some of the kindness that has been shown.

My knee has decided to start behaving itself again! Which means I am no longer bed bound, I can now roll over in bed and put a bit of weight on the leg, which has made a huge difference to getting around the house. I have been using an anti inflammatory gel on the knee daily which has helped reduce the swelling, meaning the pain is a lot less intense. I am still pretty slow getting around but I can now get up steps and stairs on my own! I never thought I would be this excited about something so simple. I seriously took for granted being able to get myself around. I have also been able to get myself in the bath and with the help of Matt, the shower, and I can now get dressed on my own. All these small things make a huge difference to my mood and make me feel a bit more human rather than a broken body. My ankle is still sore from holding all of my weight but at least it hasn't decided to swell yet. The wheelchair has also been a god send, I was able to be whizzed around town by Mum so I could buy a few bits for hospital. It is amazing how people look at you differently when you are in a wheelchair. I see people visibly scanning me for what the problem is, there is no obvious cast and I am clearly not paralysed so it seems to be very confusing for the poor people round town. I felt strangely at one with my fellow elderly wheelchair users and babies in prams. It also made me realise how high up everything is; now I am short as it is, so struggle reaching the top shelves in most stores but being in a chair made such a difference. I couldn't see the cashiers behind the desk in some places and all my magazines were out of reach in one store. Cobbled pavements are also a nightmare!




Have spent much of the time still stranded due to the fun that can be had with crutches and a wheelchair by Matt and my brother, Daniel. Who knew they were that great!


Thats one of my brothers Daniel. We don't always get on but since I have really gone down hill he has really stepped up. He also has Crohn's Disease; although luckily at the moment his is in remission. Un like me he doesn't like to look things up or read up on the disease so all this is a bit of a shock to him. I think it highlights what the worst case scenario is for him, which must be really scary. But from about 10:30pm, Dan takes on the night shift. By this point my parents and Matt are usually sound asleep so he  takes on the role of making sure I have everything I need for the night; hot water bottles and drinks mainly but that is such a help when I can't carry anything around for myself. He doesn't read my blog but still, a big thank you to Dan.

I have also had some lovely visitors! Hannah, Matt's sister popped round for a lovely sit in the sun and two of my best friends Cho and Nash (Jess & Charlotte) came by this afternoon. Cho arrived with a wonderful card!


Its brilliant because I'm deadly allergic to peanuts.
They then went on to go through my wardrobe, working out which clothes they would like each if I die on the table, which made me laugh. Priorities first girlies! They never fail to make me happy.



Tomorrow I am seeing Harry on his lunch break which will be a great distraction on my starvation day. Seeing people and having visitors makes everything a lot easier, I am so grateful and lucky to have such lovely friends around me.

I started writting this list a few weeks ago, but with only a few days left until surgery I thought it was about time I published it!
I have been spending a lot of time thinking of what life will be like when I'm in tip top shape again.
I have compiled a list of all the things I want to do and things I have to look forward to once I am feeling better, and have Margaret at my side (literally).




GABI & MARGARET'S TO DO LIST

- Girls night out
To most this is a weekly occurrence, but I haven't been on a good, pain free, night out since the Summer of 2012! I can't wait to go out with my girls, dance and drink cocktails! I want to go away with my girls and stay over night somewhere and have an amazing night out.

- Go on holiday with Matt
By the end of the Summer I think we will both deserve a good break. I have my heart set on a trip to Paris & Disney (although Matt may need some convincing). I am also dying to lie on a beach or by the pool, in the sun. Finding a bikini that works may be a struggle but we will find a way!



- Spa day with Mum
I love a good pamper session and love spa days and treatments. When I'm feeling up to it, I want to have a long, lovely spa day with Mum. It'll be lovely just to lie there and relax.

- 'Make over'
After feeling pretty ugly, grotty and yuck for months I am in need of feeling pretty again. When this is all over I am going to get my hair and nails sorted. Due to how malnourished I am and the medication I am on my hair and skin are in need of some TLC. My hair has fallen out a lot, which is an instant confidence killer, although I am lucky that I had mega amounts in the first place and people assure me that it is not noticeable, but I of course hate it.
I can't wait for the puffyness to go from my face and the darks circles to fade from under my eyes.

- Join the gym again
I miss it a lot! Way more than I thought I would and I am looking forward to going back to my gym classes and really toning up again.

- Learn to ballroom dance
I have always wanted to do this, and every year after watching Strictly I promise myself it will happen. Matt is so not a fan so I just need to find myself a partner and I'm ready to go!

- Travel
I would love to be the kind of person who can travel the world with a rucksack holding the bare minimum, sleeping in hostels and being care free. However, I love my creature comforts and am a bit of a home bird - but I don't want this to stop me visiting and seeing some amazing places! There are two trips I really want to take, the first one is to drive across America, through as many states as possible, including Nebraska. For a long time now Nebraska has been my favourite state - I can't tell you why (I was a strange kid) but it would make me so happy to finally visit it and have my photo taken underneath a sign saying 'Welcome to Nebraska'.
The second place I would love to visit is Australia! One of my closest friends, Jess, is about to move out there so I think it would be the perfect time to visit Oz!

- Run the London Marathon
Many of you will be chuckling at the thought of this! ME! GABI! RUN!!
It was only in the few months before this flare that I really got back in to exercise and now that I can't do anything I am surprisingly really missing it. Once I am healthy again I plan to slowly get my fitness back and run the London Marathon for Crohn's & Colitis.

- Meet David Beckham
I'm not sure how this is going to happen. But when it does I plan for him to sign Margaret.



- Get a dog
I am dying to have my own little woof! I would love to have a long haired miniature dachshund. As a house hold we have three dogs already living here, so my parents are not best pleased with the idea. I have agreed to wait until I am all better to see whether I still want one and am ready for committing to owning the little thing for years to come! but I can't see that changing any time soon. She will be called Bella and I think about it an unhealthy amount!



- Move out
Most of my friends live away from home due to Uni and as much as I love my parents I am looking forward to having my own place with Matt. This probably won't be happening for a while, whilst I am still at Uni and saving the pennies but a girl can dream! I love interiors so spend a lot of time planning of my ideal home!


Dream home (the one from The Holiday)


- Be part of a Flash Mob
This looks SO fun & puts a smile on the face of everyone who watches them. There are websites where you can plan or join them - something I will definitely be doing!

- Graduate
This will be a huge deal for me. So far my degree has been hell - not because of the course, which I love, but because of how sick I have been. This year alone I have missed more days than I have been in; I spend my days constantly trying to catch up which is very stressful. For me to graduate with the rest of my year will be a huge achievement and will be even better if I get the final grade I want! Roll on that cap and gown!

- Complete my internships
Now when I started this blog I also wanted to document my life as a fashion student and intern. Unfortunately, due to being poorly I haven't been able to complete any internships recently. However! I have been lucky enough to have been able to reschedule some amazing placements for later on in the year. Fingers crossed I will be able to do these and be nice and healthy. I'm so excited to get stuck in to interning and working again.


I would like to end this post buy saying how much I am dying to bend my leg. It has been so long since it has been bent, it is like an itch that can't be sctratched. I see people using their knees properly and it makes me wince, so please bend your knees for me and enjoy it!

Lots of love
xxx

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