Im going to start off with my moan. Swiftly get it out the way.
Recently I have had quite a few bad days. I seem to be spending more and more time in pain and feeling exhausted. You can always tell when I've been feeling rubbish when I don't bake, and it's been a while since I've got my Mary Berry on! It feels so strange to be counting down the time until a surgery that I don't want to have. It feels like a huge lose/lose situation. I only recently found out that I will be meeting my surgeon on June 3rd. On the one hand it means it really gets things moving, its the first step to meeting Margaret. On the other, it makes everything very real, and that is very, very scary.
People are telling me how brave I am and how positively I am dealing with everything. I am glad I can show people that something like this doesn't have to be the end of the world. However, I do have my bad days too. Recently my arthritis has come back with vengeance. My knee has swelled up and has stiffened so it no longer bends, my ankle is very painful so I'm finding walking very difficult. The crutches have come out of the loft again, but even they are hard to use with my thumb playing up too. All of this also means I can't drive; for me this is one of the toughest parts, I am very independent and I hate having to rely on everyone around me to do things. Being even more poorly has also meant I have missed some of best friends birthdays, which feels awful. It makes sitting at home, unable to move even harder, knowing your friends are out having a good time. Luckily the Dr has prescribed me some stronger pain killers to help me get through the pain, especially at night.
I do have some of the most amazing friends. One thing being poorly sick does is make your true friends really stand out. Everyone has busy, hectic lives and I would never expect anyone to put their life on hold for me but it makes me feel incredibly loved when people take time out to be there. This week my long time friend Harry and the lovely Zoe met up with me in a pub; I know right now I am not fun or exciting and there are probably a million other things they would rather be doing; so it means the world to have them take time out to see me. It has massively lifted my mood, probably more than they realise.
So a huge thank you to them.
Given I have been pretty fed up and have months of not much fun ahead, Matt treated me to an amazing meal at The Vineyard (a 5 Star restaurant, hotel and spa). I haven't dressed up and gotten out of my PJs and slob clothes in so long, it felt so nice to dress up and go out. I even slapped on some make up, it took a good trowel load to even vaguely cover up the dark circles under my eyes but at least I looked a bit more human. We were greeted with champagne on arrival and went on to have an incredible four course meal. I really wanted to take photos but we had to 'be cool'. They have over 3,000 wines to choose from and match them to each course. Not great for a wine hater like me, but Matt loved it! Our friend Louie works there so at the end of the meal we got a tour of the kitchen, including the special chocolate room! We finished the day with some gorgeous little entree desert things whilst relaxing on the most comfortable sofa I have ever sat on. Talk about perfect!
I may have had to sleep the rest of the day away, and my tummy definitely suffered from all the food I ate but it was so worth it! It was also so great to do something nice with Matt, he works so hard having just set up his own business (www.barber-contracting.com) and puts up with me being poorly and probably looking gross most of the time so it was lovely to actually do something coupley!
I have also have some very exciting news! About two weeks ago I was asked to guest blog for the NACC Blog, 'Me and IBD' Here is the link for my my post...
http://www.meandibd.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/guest-blog-gabi.html
It is so great to be writting for other sites and spreading awareness for the disease. IBD and Me aim to help young people with bowel disease and even if my post puts a smile on one persons face or helps them in some way, then I'll be a happy bunny!
I have also been trying to get this blog out there. The more people that see and read it, the more people that will have a greater understanding of Crohn's - which can't be a bad thing! Some amazing and lovely celebrities have retweeted it, which has made me so happy! So thank you Lorraine Candy - Editor in Chief of UK Elle Magazine, Hilary Alexander - Journalist and Fashion Director of The Daily Telegraph and Beccy Huxtable off of the Scott Mills Show and Radio 1. You have all put the biggest smile on my face. From their retweets I have also been contacted by some lovely people from around the world, so thank you to everyone.
I have also just found out that I have finished my second year of Uni with a 2:1, after the year from hell and missing half of it I am actually quite proud of myself. I would have loved a 1st but I think considering everything I have done quite well!
I'll carry on updating you all with goings on, sorry for having a moan. I hope you are all having a wonderful Bank Holiday!
Lots of love
xxx
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