Bye Bye 2015!

Hey everyone!

The last couple of months have been pretty stressful. With so much going all at once, it's been easy to get myself down, but with 2015 drawing to a close I thought it would be nice to look back at my Top 10 highlights of the year.

1. Launched new Chroma products!
2015 has been a crazy year for Chroma & one of my favourite parts has been the release of new products. It started off with the release of A5 spiral books back in January & in the last couple months I've released A4 notebooks, personalised pens & pencil cases. It is crazy to think how much the brand has grown in just 12 months and makes me so super excited for 2016.

2.  Signed a lease to rent a house in Cardiff.
Now this didn't end up going to plan BUT the very signing off the house was a pretty big deal for me. Having been poorly on and off for so long I have gotten very used to the comfort and security of home & living with my Mum and Dad. I don't like being outside my comfort zone and the thought of moving out scared me half to death but I stuck to my decision & signed for a house in Cardiff. Although my knee has been a huge set back, January 2016 I'm determined to make the move. Finally.

3. My wonderful friends have been doing amazing
2015 has been a year of change for change amongst my friendship group & we are all doing pretty good. We are moving all around the country (world), starting exciting new jobs & couples are moving in together. We all seem to be really growing up & I am so so proud of everyone.

4. The first moments of 2015
New Year's Day & the celebration the night before was without a doubt the best New Years I have ever had. One of my closest friends Zoe came back to surprise everyone after months of travelling and I was in on the secret. It was so brilliant to see everyone's faces when I turned up with her. The whole night was so much fun & one of the happiest evenings with my best and oldest friends.

5. Full time Chroma.
Making the decision to turn Chroma in to my full time job was a pretty scary leap of faith but is something I am pretty proud of. Less than a year after launching the brand I couldn't have imagined I would be making enough money to leave my part time job. When I move to Cardiff I will have to do something to supplement my income but it is all heading in the right direction.

6. Becky came back!
My gorgeous friend, Becky, came back to the UK for a months holiday a few weeks ago. I've had a pretty shitty couple months and her coming back has massively lifted my spirits. In the 13 years I've known her, she has always been so supportive & she never fails to put a smile on my face. It is amazing that you can go so long without seeing someone and it be completely normal when you do. She may be leaving again in a couple days but she has given me the boost I really needed.

7. Turning 24.
I love even numbers & two is my favourite. 2 x 2 = 4, making 24 just the best number and subsequently age ever! I also had a really lovely weekend celebrating with friends & family, including the best birthday lunch with Mum & Dad.

8. My cousins wedding
This year the first of all us cousins got married. It was a beautiful, happy day & so much fun even though I was on crutches with two swollen knees.

9. Coppafeel!
Volunteering for Coppafeel! at a festival was one of the high points of my Summer. Helping such an amazing cause & having the best time doing it was so cool. Dressing up as a boob and competing in a limbo competition was surreal & brilliant in equal measures.

10. Working with amazing brands, press & bloggers
Chroma has allowed me to work with some amazing people & brands. From American Airlines & Schuh to Estee Lauder & Coppafeel!, it's been crazy. Chroma has been featured in Glamour.com, Stylist, Tatler & The Telegraph Online & mentioned by the likes of Sprinkle of Glitter, The Saccone-Joly's & In The Frow; some of the biggest bloggers/vloggers in the world. So much has been crammed into 2015, who knows what the next year could bring.

Maybe 2015 hasn't been so bad after all... here is to 2016!

xxx

Bye Bye Bread

Hi everyone!

So, as I mentioned at the end of my last post, after months of waiting for medical help / diagnosis & finding out that it was all linked to having Crohn's Disease anyway, I decided to take matters in to my own hands and do my own research.

I know we are always told not to Google our symptoms, but since diagnosis I always have done and unfortunately have rarely been wrong. The control freak in me needs to know where I stand, all the possibilities and all the details. I have pretty much always been correct in what I think is happening, the treatment I will have or what I think the Drs will say, maybe I missed my calling in life!

After Googling arthritis due to Crohn's Disease & trawling through my trusty Crohn's Forum for advice, a few things stuck out. Lots of people noted that lifestyle and diet had helped their arthritis. Now diet has never been proven to effect/cause/cure Crohn's Disease directly, but many believe diet can effect inflammation. My joints have been inflamed for months & in fact everything "wrong" with me, comes in some form of inflammation; eczema, asthma, Crohn's Disease, arthritis. I am basically just one big inflamed thing. After much advice, positive stories & studies I decided to take on board some suggestions. For two weeks now I have been Gluten free and taking fish oil supplement every day (with bread, pizza & pasta being my favourite things, this hasn't been easy). I am trying to eat a much more Mediterranean / anti inflammatory diet. From what I have read, some have found it changed their lives, others have said it made no difference at all. I have never been one to believe or jump on to every new study/diet/fad but at this point, I haven't got anything to lose...

Amazingly, since I started this revamp two weeks ago, the swelling and consequently stiffness in my knees has gone down by about 90%. I am in a lot less pain & able to actually walk upstairs properly for the first time in a long, long time! Coincidence? After three and half months I would be surprised, although it does feel too good to be true. You might be able to control pain with your mind but you can't make your legs swell up to double their size.
I have also been having Epsom salt baths, massaging both knees, using moist heat with wheat bags & gently trying to get my normal range of movement back. Now the change in my symptoms could be down to any of these things or a combination of a few, I don't know.

What does feel really good is to have a little bit of control back or at least feel as if I do. For eight years I have been at the mercy of the disease, never knowing when I am going to be poorly. For most of this I have also been relying on my Dr's to keep me well, diagnose what is wrong & decide my medication. I am already on two quite harsh drugs and the thought of pumping another medication in to my body doesn't fill me with joy. If lifestyle & food can make enough of a difference to keep me from having to take more tablets, I am all for it. It won't cure me, there is no cure. But it may be able to make things a little bit better & it is something that is 100% down to me.

In the mean time, I finally had my appointment with the Ortho & Trauma Dr who was great. I filled him in on everything & what I thought was going on, after which he agreed with what I had said. I had some bloods taken looking for different things than my usual Crohn's blood tests & have been referred to the Rheumatologist who specialises in arthritis. Now the wait to see him begins which could be anything up to 18 weeks. I have an appointment back with the Ortho man at the end of January, to make sure things are progressing in the right direction, which I guess is a positive and should stop me from falling through the gaps & ending up with no treatment or help. Until then it's a sit and wait situation but at least I am able to get around much more easily, am not in awful pain & can start to work out when I'll be moving to Cardiff & getting my life back to normal!!

The only way is up after all.
XXX



*Please note, I am not a Dr & don't advise anyone to do what I do without seeking medical advice or help! 

A sorry state of affairs

Hi Guys,

So the last couple of weeks have been a bit mad. I had my cousins wedding mid September, which was so so amazing. Initially I was determined not to wear my bright blue knee brace, but in the end decided to opt for safety rather than vanity. I had one crutch throughout the day and managed to stay pretty much on my feet. I sat down a lot throughout the reception, as both my knees started to swell up & my muscles were aching but I did manage to dance, briefly, just moving my arms. The whole day was really beautiful and it was so nice to get out of Newbury for a couple of days.

The 4th of October was my 24th Birthday! By this point I had planned to already be living in Cardiff so it wasn't the exact weekend I had in mind a couple months back, but it was still a really brilliant birthday. On the Friday before hand I went out for some drinks with friends, it was pretty quiet but so lovely to see everyone who came. It was the first time I had been out in ages and I even risked it with no crutch or leg brace... Probably not the best idea but nothing too awful happened!
On the Saturday I went to Bath with my parents to visit my brother, Dan, who started Uni there in September.  On the Sunday (my actual birthday) I woke up to pink balloons decorating the lounge & some of the best presents! I even had a card from Toby!... Two of my best friends are currently on the other side of the world, which can be pretty tough, but they had remembered and had a card sent in time, which is pretty amazing of them and really, really made me smile. I went out for lunch with Mum and Dad before a bit of shopping with Mum. It was quite a chilled out day but perfect!

Through out this time my knees haven't really improved, I have good and bad days. Sometimes I am able to walk without crutches and there is minimal swelling, at this point I always think it must be getting better. The next week, the knee swells up so much I can't bend it and becomes so painful. What has been really strange, is my 'good' knee has often been worse than the 'bad' one. I've been soldiering on, counting down to my ortho appointment to discuss my MRI, waiting to find out what I have actually done.
Three months on from the yoga class I received a letter saying that my appointment had been cancelled and pushed back by another 2 weeks to the 29th of October. It is safe to say I had a bit of a melt down. I have been unable to work properly, walk Toby, drive or move to Cardiff & the thought of any more time not knowing what was wrong panicked me a little. I spoke to an ortho receptionist who I have to say was unbelievably rude & failed to help at all, she even disconnected the call when I asked to speak to someone else. After a good cry I rung PALS, hoping they might be able to help. Cutting a long story short, a couple days later I received the good news that the appointment had been bought back forward by a week, to the 22nd. Not ideal, but a definite improvement!

In the mean time, I also rung my GP, mainly to get more pain killers but also to touch base & to check whether she had access to my MRI results, as I still didn't know what I had done. She hadn't been sent the results (the new way of doing things) but was able to look it up for me. The scan revealed that, I had done no damage to any tendon/ligament etc and my joint was perfectly healthy. Safe to say I was confused. For 3 months I had been told by multiple people that they thought my meniscus had been torn. Although it has not been formally diagnosed yet, it is thought that my knee pain is actually an arthritic reaction linked to my Crohn's...

Yup. Three months of pain, sitting on waiting list after waiting list, being seen my so many different people & it turns out to be something completely different to what they thought. I had a bit of a wobble when I found out, the whole process has been exhausting and so frustrating, I couldn't really believe it.
I'm still not sure what the outcome is going to be but from what I understand, the yoga will have weakened and irritated my knee joints & my body reacted badly causing an arthritis flare. Normally, this is associated with active Crohn's, however, I am currently not experiencing a Crohn's flare and my bloods are normal. Aha this is where it gets interesting! This form of arthritis, although caused/linked to the Crohn's Disease can apparently go un noticed on bloods but also flare and react independently to the Crohn's. Brilliant news all round.

I am yet to know anything about treatment or when I will have any of it sorted. It is, however, looking like something I will have to manage and deal with, like the Crohn's, for the rest of my life. Fab. This revelation, does however, explain a lot. Why both knees were bad & why it goes in waves of severity, with one minute fine and the next awful. It is thought that I will be referred from ortho to rheomatology, to sort this all out. Who knows how long that will take but at least we are now (fingers crossed) heading in the right direction.

Right now, it is safe to say I'm pretty fed up but also un surprised. On hearing this, many people will be rolling their eyes, "classic Gabi", "always something", "here we go again" - & you would be right, but it also sucks. I'm sure I will get my head around it & once under control will be managed and kept stabile so I can get my life back to normal. Three months is a really long time to put pause on everything.

Due to the fact I have no idea when it will be sorted, I have started to do my research and take matters in to my own hands. A bit of a lifestyle over haul has occurred which I will explain more about in my next post later this week.

Lots of love xxx

7 weeks later...

Hi Guys,

So it has been a while since my yoga catastrophe and things have not really been going to plan. As you may have read in my last post, I was sent home from A&E with a packet of codeine & the hope I would be on my feet soon.

Well 7 weeks later and I have just had my 'urgent' knee Dr appointment. In that time, I have gone from no weight barring at all & on two crutches to hobbling around on one out the house and getting by with none at home so that is an improvement. On the other hand, my one holiday of the year to Paris was cancelled, I have been unable to drive & the move to Cardiff has yet to go ahead, although I am paying rent on the new house. Safe to say I'm pretty fed up.

Luckily I am able to work at home with Chroma so that is all still going really well. Mum & Dad have been a massive help getting all my orders to the Post Office and driving me around at weekends.  I have however had to turn down a lot of part time work which has left me pretty stuck, money wise. I have also had to spend a great deal of time on my own, stuck in the house - the record has been 8 days straight without leaving our street. Great!

7 weeks feels like a hell of a long time to wait for an urgent appointment but there was nothing I could do about it. When I finally saw the Dr, he was very kind but said he needed an MRI to be able to know what was wrong. Even I knew that would be needed. I am now waiting for an MRI scan before waiting to go back & see the knee Dr to find out what exactly is wrong & what treatment is needed.

About 3 weeks into the injury my "good" knee swelled up and became very stiff, I had two swollen knees. Thankfully I had another phsyio appointment booked so I was able to get some help, she informed me that I was starting to damage the "good" knee and needed to stop that getting even worse ASAP. Since then I have been sporting a rather beautiful blue knee brace... on the "good" knee. It has helped a lot and the swelling has done down. The physio also estimated that worst case scenario I would be looking at 6 months before being able to drive/move out/walk etc. so fingers crossed improve a lot faster than that!

The main issue at the mo is that I should have moved to Cardiff about 2 weeks ago, my room is looking beautiful and everything is ready to go, if only my knees were too! I can't move until I am can drive, get to my part-time job & able to walk Toby. I don't know how long that will be, I've just got to play it by ear.

Talk about one thing after another eh?! Will of course update soon.
xxx

Calamity Gabi

Hi guys,

So I like to keep things interesting and can never stay in one piece for long.
As I may have mentioned for the past couple weeks I have been having phsyio on my weak knee, although there is no injury there it was left a bit unhappy after the on/off arthritis. The physio and gym sessions have been going really well and my fitness and strength levels are at their highest. I went to the physio on Monday morning, she was super impressed with my leg strength and thought the bad leg was actually now stronger than the other! Great news all round. She suggested I do the normally painful activities like cycling and swimming lengths and sent me on my way with a final appointment booked to make sure things were still going okay.

That evening I decided to head to a Yoga Fitness class. I have done yoga and pilates before and my brother has gotten really in to this class in particular. A group of us went down and things were going well. It was a tough work out but my hyper flexibility meant that a lot of the moves were quite easy. That was until we moved on to a one legged lunge in to a knee raise. All my weight was on one leg and it involved balancing. We were supposed to do a set of 10, and I think I managed maybe 6 before it was really painful, I decided to skip the rest, my knee could not hack this. The constant switching between bending my knees and stretching them out had my legs feeling like jelly, but I assumed this was normal. At the end of the class I wasn't in an awful amount of pain so put it down to a good work out.

The following morning I woke up with some minor swelling in my left knee and a lot of stiffness, I just carried on with my normal actives. The next morning the knee was worse, I iced and elevated and took ibuprofen in the hope it would sort itself out. I had definitely done too much but went on a stroll, thinking it would loosen it up. On Thursday I woke up and the knee was huge. The swelling had gotten even worse and it was now really tricky to walk on. I still didn't take it very seriously and continued to try and act normally. By that evening it was the biggest it had been and nothing seemed to get the swelling down. We decided if it wasn't better by the following morning I would head to Minor Injuries. I had already tried all the normal things, pain killers, ice and elevate, normal movement, resting & hot water bottle so I was getting a bit concerned.

Friday morning came and it was no better. If anything, it was worse. My knee was now double it's normal size I was unable to walk or drive. I couldn't bend or straighten it, it was stuck in a weird position. Minor Injuries it was. I eventually saw a nurse who took all my knee history and decided I should be seen by the Dr as an emergency appointment as there was nothing much they could do. Later that day I went to my GP, who knows me well by now (I've been in and out of there far too many times) and we were laughing at how ridiculous it was that I had managed to hurt myself doing yoga of all things. As she tried and failed to bend and straighten my leg she told I needed to go to A&E... One week after I was discharged for Margaret playing up I was looking at having to go back. I think my face looked horrified and we agreed that we would wait over the weekend and it it was no better by 9am on Monday morning, I would see her again and go up to A&E. I asked what she thought needed doing and she replied, "an op".
Oh great!
I left with anti inflammatory tablets and the promise that if it got any worse I would go straight in.

Saturday was tricky but no worse, I crutched around town with Mum, rested it, iced the knee and took the tablets. I tell you what, crutches are exhausting, but at least it's a work out for my arms and core!  Unable to move my knee I had no choice but to sleep sat up right, with my leg propped up on a cushion. I couldn't lie on my side, how I normally would and was in quite a lot of pain. I drifted off at around midnight but woke up at 2am with such a sharp pain up my leg. I think I must have tried to bend it in my sleep - stupid sleeping Gabi! I failed to go back to sleep for the rest of the night. The pain was worse than ever and the swelling hadn't gone down.
Sunday morning I had had enough, it was getting worse, no better, so Mum took me in to A&E, again.

This time I wasn't at risk of getting really poorly so wasn't rushed through. Instead I had to sit and wait for a Dr, two hours later I was seen by a lovely lady who examined, took down all details and sent me off for an Xray. I was also given codeine for the pain, thank god! The Xray came back clear meaning there were no breaks to my knee cap or anything and the swelling wasn't down to fluid. This meant it had to be tissue damage. She suspected a tear in my meniscus but couldn't be certain, but my knee was locked, which explained why I couldn't move it. She said that due to it not being a break I would not be admitted to hospital and could go home. She put in and urgent referral to the knee clinic for me and hoped I would be seen soon.

I explained that it had gotten worse over a week and that I was getting pretty fed up. She suspected it would be some weeks before I was back walking/driving again. I then pointed out I had a city break in Paris booked for 4 weeks time, she just crossed her fingers. She hoped it would get back to normal on it's own and if not the knee specialist would be able to help. I left A&E with a pack of codeine feeling pretty down in the dumps.

Riding the hospital buggy

Since then my knee has gotten no better. The swelling has remained the same and I need codeine to help with the pain through the night. I am still on crutches and not able to put any weight on it. I don't see how it is going to get better on it's own and am just waiting for a referral. They've said it could be up to a 6 week wait for urgent referrals... what's urgent about 6 weeks I don't know. Until then, if nothing changes, I am pretty stuck, literally. I am lucky in that I mainly work from home and still with my parents so have help, it would be so much worse if this wasn't the case. I have had to turn down other work and don't really have any idea when I'll be on my feet again.
It is the most frustrating thing ever. I am gutted about potentially missing out on Paris, it's my only break booked all year. I am also due to move out the day after I get back which could potentially also be an issue if I'm still not back on my feet.

The left knee which I can neither straighten or bend

Morally of the story, don't exercise.

Margaret continues to be on strike...

Hey guys,

So, I was now on my way to A&E, pretty fed up and little nervous as what could be going on. I assumed a block but didn't know how they even treated one if that were the case. I had read some horror stories but didn't think I was in any way poorly enough to consider those. For starters, I wasn't really in pain, when everything you read says that with a block you should be in agony.

We couldn't decide which hospital to go to, the one with my surgeon who made Margaret or the one with my consultant who knows me and my condition very well, we opted for the consultant one. Upon arrival I realised I had never been to A&E before! I wasn't a very accident prone child and although I've spent hundreds of hours in hospitals, they've never been in or via A&E. I was pretty excited to be going in, I'm a huge fan of medical based dramas and shows so found it really interesting... oh what a loser I am.

I checked in at the desk and sat down for what I thought and heard would be hours of waiting. 10 minutes later I was called in for my assessment. This is undertaken by a nurse who goes over whats happened, makes a file ready for when the Dr's call you when its your turn. She took down a couple of details before taking me straight through, out another door. To the poor people in the waiting room, it must have been ver confusing. There I am swanning in like I own the place, looking completely healthy and un-injured being taken straight through with no wait. They got me a bed within a couple minutes and had me dress into a hospital gown. I had ended up in Majors. For those that don't know in A&E there are three areas, Resus, Majors and Minors. Resus is for the critically ill, things like terrible breaks, strokes, heart attacks etc. Minors is the walking wounded, breaks, sprains, cuts etc and then there is Majors for the people in between who need urgent care but aren't in a life or death situation. Somehow I had walked right into Majors.

I was quickly surrounded by 3 nurses who were all so so lovely. I'm very used to being in medical environments so wasn't really nervous but if I had been they would have settled that straight away. they were all around my age, maybe a couple years older and it was nice to have a chat. I had all my OBS done (blood pressure, heart rate, temperature) before having a lot of blood taken and a cannula put in. I looked at my Mum, things seemed to be getting a little serious, quite quickly. I was given a bay, Number 12, which made me very happy as its my favourite number.

A Dr came to see me and I had to give the details for the 6th time that day, I then had an X-Ray of my stomach to see what was going on.

I then spent an hour or so waiting to find out the results of the tests. This provided excellent time for people watching, one of my favourite activities. After half an hour I knew what was going in most of the bays around me thanks to a lot of loud talking and nothing more than a curtain between us. The Dr eventually came back explaining that although my bloods were completely normal, the X-Ray had shown something partial obstructing my intestine. They weren't sure what this was, whether it was something medically that had gone wrong or food. She explained that she would be now talking to the surgical team about how to proceed and possibly how to treat it medically.

Surgical team?! Things seemed to have escalated rather quickly. One minute I'm ummming and ahhring about whether to bother to see anyone, the next they're talking about surgery! Thank god I had come in. I freaked out a little but tried to stay calm until I knew what was going on. My main worry was that my surgeon, who I really trust, is based elsewhere and I didn't know how that would work. The next time she came in, she thought that the surgeons wouldn't be getting involved (PHEW) and that the Dr's would try and treat it medically. When I asked what this would involved, she explained it would involved putting an NG tube down through my nose and into my stomach, to pump out what is in there. At this point I really freaked out. It's odd that I was more scared of the NG tube than I was about surgery. Ever since my awful colonoscopy experience a couple years ago I have a big fear of being put in pain, whilst awake, when something is out of my control. If I'm going to be asleep I'm not concerned at all but if I'm awake and know I'm out of control of what is being done to me, I really don't cope well. It's safe to say I got in a bit of a panic, which the Dr walked in on. Great! I'm always super embarrassed by crying in public, when normally I deal with things pretty well. She was really kind and explained that I would be being admitted to a ward and so wouldn't be going home today, I can't say I was best pleased but didn't have much choice.

They wheeled me up to the ward at about 11:20, I was placed in what seemed like quite a quiet bay on the Acute Medical Ward. There was just one other elderly lady when I got there who gave me a cheerful wave! I always try and make friends with the people in the beds around me, it makes the time there a lot less miserable. I had my OBS done again before being given a tablet designed to kick start my bowel in to moving. No mention of NG tube was made, which I was incredibly relieved at but also a little confused. Things went from surgery to NG tube to one small tablet in the space of a couple hours. I also hadn't been told what had caused the block or why it had happened. I felt pretty anxious, with the whole not knowing thing. I like to have all the information and to always be kept in the loop.

Mum left for the night about half an hour later and I settled down with an audio book to try and get some sleep...

Sleep never happened.
About 20 minutes after Mum left they finally turned out all the lights, it was about 1:40am ish, I was just drifting off when a lady was bought in, followed by a 3 or 4 person medical team. The lights went on, lighting up the whole bay. The poor lady was really poorly and had Dr's and nurses in and out for hours. She was in the bed next to me so there was no chance of not being disturbed. At around 4:30 she was settled for the night but she requested they leave the lights on... I was pretty irritated at this point and led awake desperately trying to drop off to sleep. This wasn't helped by the huge cannula in my right arm not allowing me to bend it or get comfy. Over the course of the next two hours, two further ladies were bought in, both elderly and unwell. At 6:30 the ward starts to wake up, with the shift swap over starting at around 7:00. I had made it through the whole night with not even a minutes sleep. I looked and felt like death, thankfully at some point during this eventful night, Margaret started to work a little.

For those that haven't ever had the pleasure of a hospital stay they are far from relaxing. They do a meds and obs round pretty early and I was given another tablet and breakfast before 8:30. Then the wait starts for the Dr's to get to you on their ward rounds. This takes time, depending where you are in the queue and how poorly those around you are. A gastro Dr popped in briefly very early on to let me know that from a Crohn's perspective things were okay. There was no obvious flare and nothing too serious on my Xray. He explained that as Margaret had started working he was sure the main Drs would send me home that morning. I was overjoyed and texted Mum to let her know. I was next visited by the main Dr who said he wanted to see Margaret work more before I was allowed to leave. I panicked a little as this was completely out of my control. When Mum arrived we did everything we could think of to get things moving; a walk, fizzy drinks, salty foods, water, a lot of orange juice and lying on my side. Margaret barely stirred but thankfully the Drs decided I was still able to get out of there and processed the paper work at around 1:00/2:00pm. I had the irritating cannula removed and was finally free!!

I was SO relieved but completely exhausted. I went home worrying that Margaret was still not working properly and that I was going to end up back in A&E. Thankfully over the next 24 hours she got her act together and managed to work again. They were never quite sure of what caused the block but I think it was down to food. Grapes, popcorn and lack of water are not a great combination. It's safe to say in the future I'm going to be very careful about what I eat and how much fluid I'm drinking. Popcorn is not my friend.

xxx

The day that Margaret went on strike - PART 1

Hey guys,

Margaret and I have had a rocky couple of days, a couple days ago she decided to get the hump and stop working. I normally empty the bag 5-7 times over 24 hours, it's very dependent on what I eat, how much I eat and activity levels. The only times that I always, always have to empty are around 11pm before I go to bed, at some point in the middle of the night, usually 5am ish and when I wake up between 8:00 and 9:00 on a weekday.

Wednesday evening I went to go to bed and the bag was completely empty which is very odd, I didn't think too much of it but my stomach did feel kind of odd. It's such a hard feeling to describe but something was definitely off. I woke up at 8:30am and realised I hadn't needed to get up at all in the night and that there was only the smallest amount in there from the past 12 hours. This definitely wasn't normal as I had eaten my usual amount the day before. I started to do the many things they suggest when you think you might have a little block.  I couldn't think of any other reasons why Margaret wouldn't be working. I've never really had one before but they are a fairly common complication of having an ostomy. There are lots of reasons you might have a block, it tends to be, either damage from surgery, a twist or kink in the intestine, a flare up or food.

I had a hot drink, a little bit of something to eat & drank a hell of a lot of water. My tummy felt strange but was still looking normal and I wasn't in any pain so I headed to the gym thinking it would all sort itself out and that some activity would get things going! As the day went on my tummy grew more bloated, I had a hot shower, and led down with a hot water bottle in the hope it would shift whatever was blocking Margaret. Things did not improve and she was still completely shut down. At about 3:30 I started to worry, it had been 8 hours since anything had come out which is never okay. I rang my Mum to update her and then tried to get hold of my stoma nurse. The line rang and rang with no answer machine, nobody was in the office. I then tried to get hold of my brilliant IBD Nurse but managed to call after their office had closed. Nightmare. I decided to try 111, the NHS service designed to help people who aren't quite sure what they should be doing with their symptoms. The man was very polite and listened to what I had said before asking a set of completely irrelevant questions that had clearly come up on his computer screen.

'Have you been bleeding profusely for 30 minutes or more?' ermmmm no.

'Is your pain level high?' well, no not really.

Clearly my answers didn't flag up any form of emergency and he instructed me to see my GP within 12 hours. This is where, I'm afraid, 111 really doesn't work. I think its a great service for 'normal' accidents or medical queries. When, however, your issue doesn't fit the norm it doesn't make any sense. Although my symptoms on paper wouldn't qualify as a usual emergency situation, they definitely were not okay and had I left it the extra 12 hours, things could have turned out a lot, lot nastier. I rang the GP surgery and asked to speak to the on call Dr, having to explain to the secretary that no it couldn't wait until tomorrow. She said she would do her best and I settled down to wait for her call, really unsure what was going to happen next but praying that Margaret was going to kick back in to action.

The next hour and half went really slowly and my stomach grew more and more uncomfortable, I was now really bloated with back pain and unable to wear even my stretchiest leggings comfortably. I'm not going to lie I got pretty irritated with how at a loss I felt, Google told me that after 7 hours of no stoma output I should head straight to A&E but this seemed a little excessive to me and we all know you can't always take a Google medical search too seriously. I hate feeling like a burden and I never know when I'm poorly enough to seek help. I would usually put on a brave face and think I'm not ill enough, I'm constantly concerned that I will be wasting peoples time. In the past I think this may have been detrimental to my health and because of this I am getting better at speaking up when I don't think things are right. Nobody knows my body as well as I do and I knew here, that something wasn't okay. I was also pretty pissed off at Margaret. She has served me well for two whole years with barely a grumble and now for no reason or notice had decided to go on strike - she'd clearly put up with too much of my shit (hehe).

The Dr gave me a call at around 6:15, she wasn't my usual GP but she was so so brilliant. She heard me out and immediately said that she thought I should go to A&E. It was definitely not what I wanted to hear but I also felt relieved that I was being taken seriously and I wasn't going mad. The Dr thought it best that I got checked out, just in case. Mum had gone out with the dogs so I hung on until she got back, packing for an evening sat in an A&E waiting room. It felt better that I could go in on a recommendation rather than off my own back, that way if all turned out fine and dandy I wouldn't feel guilty at wasting anyones time.


- This is already pretty long so I shall continue with PART 2 soon!

Lots of love xxx