Bye Bye Uni!

So that is it!

After three long years full of many highs and rock bottom lows I have finally finished my degree. Last week I handed in my final major project, "Chroma Notebooks", after setting up my exhibition space. I expected to hand it all in and be on a huge high, instead I didn't really feel anything. I was exhausted and felt like I wanted to sleep for weeks, the nights after my hand in I still struggled to sleep and felt anxious. It was only until a few days later that I felt a massive sense of relief. Now, nearly two weeks on, it has really hit home! I spent the Bank Holiday weekend celebrating with all my wonderful friends. Tonight is my final exhibition opening for family and friends which will also help mark an end to my time at UCA. I don't graudate until mid June and I have no idea when I will find out my grade but until then I plan to enjoy the freedom before I enter the 'real world'.

The stress of these final few weeks had clearly been starting to take their toll on my old tummy. I had been having sore stomach cramps and back ache which for me are the first warning signs of the Crohn's playing up. I also suffered from this weird white stuff coming out of the other end of Margaret - the bit of intestine connected to my un-used intestine. This did worry me quite a bit so I got in touch with my consultant who thankfully put my mind at rest. Luckily it seems to have now settled down and all my symptoms have disappeared! I always new stress was a big factor in my disease and this made it all the more clear. 

My exhibition space

My portfolio 

My graduation dress

As I have mentioned many times my quest to tone up and keep fit is an on going battle. I love the idea of exercise and looking slim but hate, with a passion, getting out of breath. I have decided however that with three months to go until my holiday to Spain, I really should join a gym! I have been twice since I joined three days ago which is a good start! I guess we'll see how I get on.
Last night my lovely friend Phoebe and I decided to try something new. We headed to our first aerial hoop class. For those that don't know you basically do a series of moves/poses/transitions on a hoop suspended in the air - a bit like in the circus. I went in thinking it would be a bit of fun, never expecting it to be as hard work as it was. The work out my arms and stomach had was intense; I could barely use the gear stick to drive home and the backs of my knees were in agony. It was only when I got home that I could have a look.

These are the backs of my knees just 10 hours after the class. You spend a lot of your time gripping the steal hoop with the backs of your legs, with them taking your whole body weight. Obviously my knees were not a fan of this and the bruising I have been left with is pretty awful. Strangely I am quite keen to head back and get better. It felt so good to be doing something different whilst keeping fit and I felt like I learnt so much!... I will let you know how I get on next week...

Finally the Cosmopolitan Blog Awards have come round again, if you love what I do and fancy entering me for the Best Newcomer or Best Lifestyle Blog then I would be very grateful!

BLOG AWARDS!


Lots of love!
XXX

Chroma

Hi lovely people,

So as I mentioned in my last process I have set up my own business as part of my final major uni project. I have decided to carry it on once I graduate which is all very exciting!
I am doing my best to get things off the ground if you could all check out my website and online shop and spread the word, I would be incredibly grateful! You can find me here:

www.chromanotebooks.co.uk

I also have my FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Any feedback or comments would also be very much appreciated.

I'm sorry to say that due to this business taking over I don't have much other news! My life currently consists of uni work, organising Chroma and working - not the most fun combination eh!
I will update you all as soon as I hand everything in and my life yes a little more exciting.

Lots of love
XXX

My March Update

Hello Everyone!

SO!
As I may have mentioned in my last post, my consultant was going to be having a meeting with her team to discuss my medication and the possibility of coming off either the Aza tablets or the Humira injections. I'd forgotten all about this conversation until I got a letter in the post last week explaining that this won't be happening until at least August, at my next appointment. They want to leave it a full year of owning old Margaret before taking me off meds.
I know that logically this is a sensible decision and I know if I do end up going for a reversal I want to have the best chances of staying healthy. However... I can't help but be a bit gutted that I won't be lowering the meds. Practically it doesn't really matter, taking tablets is something I have done my whole life for one thing or another and the injections have become routine and no longer bother me. It's more the idea of pumping chemicals and medication in to my body. I'm not a very holistic person but it does scare me sometimes...

Since my last post, many things have happened!

1/ Toby is 6 months old and his puppy teeth are falling out! I found some on the floor, which was a bit bizarre and made me sad - I want him to stay a puppy forever.

2/ I have managed to commit to losing a bit of weight and getting fitter. I think being told I had lost 9 pounds really spurred me on to lose a bit more - I feel given I am half way there, pretty much by accident, I couldn't let myself slip backwards! So recently I have been doing Davina Fit DVDs, which are surprisingly hard but quite fun. I have also cut out takeaways and cut down on McDonalds... I am even signing up for Race For Life! Yes, I am going to try running.... again.

3/ I also had the best ever news... I got a 1st in my dissertation! Something I am over joyed about. I worked incredibly hard on that piece of writting and really enjoyed putting it together. I am really glad that despite everything, nothing got in the way and I still pulled it out of the bag! Hopefully this sets me up and stands me in good stead for my final degree grade.

4/ For my final major project I have set up my own stationery brand called Chroma. I would love all of your support so if you could like my Facebook & Twitter page that would be great! The online site goes live on April 6th - so look out for that too! Thank you :)

CHROMA FACEBOOK

CHROMA TWITTER

5/ As part of keeping slim I also decided to go to a ballet class... I did ballet aged 6 for a term or two and did other types of dance for about four years until I was 16. I have always been pretty flexible and after watching Big Ballet I felt inspired to have a go again. I headed to the class full of anticipation, feeling like I was in Fame! But after the class, I hate to say it, but I was really disappointed. I found it incredibly hard work and difficult to follow which would have been fine but the class was full of people who had been doing it for a long while longer than me and knew what they were doing. It was very hard to keep up and I felt a bit silly. On top of that my knee played up a lot and was really sore afterwards - I ended up having to sit with ice on it to reduce the swelling. So all in all not very successful... which was a big disappointment!

I now have about 4 and half weeks until my final hand in of my final major project, something which will mark the end of my degree! It is obviously a very stressful time and I think this is why my tummy has been a bit sore. Of course it is nothing compared to how it has been but I am getting the odd grumbly tummy ache. I do think this is mainly down to how stressed I feel and working really hard every day either at uni or work. Hopefully once this is all handed in the stress will ease and so will the grumbly tummy.

Coming up is the busiest time of my life so far so I will endeavour to update the blog but if not.. see you on the other side...

Lots of love
xxx

Margaret Meet Margaret

Hi guys,

So last week I received a telling off letter from one of the lovely IBD nurses about my lack of bloods. I am supposed to get them done every 2 months due to the cocktail of medication that I am on but the last few months have been so busy with Uni, work and basically enjoying life for the first time in a long, long while - I have completely forgotten about getting them done. So last Thursday I went in to my GP surgery, tail between my legs, to pick up my blood form before heading to the local hospital to get the bloods done. I had tried to book an appointment with my normal, trusty phlebotomist (favourite word right there) but I needed them so last minute, there was no available slot.
This is where my luck changed! It turned out someone had just canceled and I could be fitted in, which was brilliant as she knows the exact vein that my blood will drip out of, rather than having to poke me with numerous needles. I ran out to tell my Mum who was waiting in the car for me, she decided to whizz home whilst I was having it done and then come back to pick me up afterwards - she handed me her phone, as I hadn't picked mine up and off I went. Fifteen minutes later as I left the surgery and went to call my Mum I realised that her phone was locked and lucky me didn't know the pin.
I racked my brains with how I could get in touch with her realising I knew nobody in the local area who I could borrow a phone from and absolutely no money for a phone box. I tried a reverse charge call only to find out that our home phone had blocked them... very helpful! I ended up walking fifteen minutes in the rain and wind, with just a cardigan on, to the local Waitrose, where I begged to borrow their phone, looking like a drowned rat. Thankfully, they agreed and my Mum soon showed up to save me.

Two days later I headed to my see my consultant at the big hospital, where I have previously stayed. It always feels a little too familiar and a little uncomfortable when I go back there. That particular hospital stay, over a year ago now, was horrendous and filled with fear and pain. I now try and smile at anyone wandering round in hospital gowns or being wheeled in beds and wheelchairs, I know how awful they must be feeling.
On arrival I was weighed, as I always am and settled down in the waiting room. Eventually I was called in where I was greeted with,
"So is this the new slim Gabi then?"
This is not the usual way I am greeted, and although very faltered I was very confused - I thought 'oh I must have lost a bit of weight then!'
Turns out I have lost 9 pounds in 3 months! How amazing is that! I tell you, it was the best news to hear on a Friday morning. I have been watching what I eat and have obviously cut out takeaways for weeks now but I never in a million years thought I had lost that much. Very happy news indeed.
After going through my symptoms (none) and my medication (same as ever) my consultant announced that she has been reading my blog and passing it on to other patients, 'GREAT!' I thought, the more people who get something from it the better...
She followed this up with, 'and I know what you have called your stoma...'
You see, my consultant's name is Margaret...

Now I have said this before, this is a complete coincidence. Matt came up with the name before I even got Margaret and I never made the connection; it was only Mum who pointed it out once it had already stuck. I had never quite got around to revealing this to my consultant, never sure when the right time would be, but now, it turns out she knows!
I laughed a lot and assured her that this was never deliberate and in fact a good thing, and if you are reading this then - hello!

We decided that it is probably a good idea to leave Margaret alone for a while longer, and really give my bowel a rest. I know this is the right thing to do and in many ways I am loving being healthy and enjoying life. However, there is part of me that is a little disappointed - being fairly newly single has made me much more aware of having Margaret and she doesn't provide the best chat up lines - but I guess thats another new hurdle we will have to overcome.

Oh! Also! In case you didn't see Sam Faiers (who I mentioned in my previous post) has recently gone on This Morning to talk about Crohn's and her diagnosis. I found the interview truly brilliant, she perfectly described the symptoms and the reality of living with the disease. I still have people who are confused and liken it to IBS or food intolerance, but Sam successfully managed to articulate exactly how it feels to have this disease.
Check out the interview here! and let me know what you think!

Lots of love especially to my fellow IBD sufferers,
XXX

Valentines Day and Sam Faiers

Hi everyone,

The last few weeks have been really great!
I spent Valentines day with all of my favourite people. I started the day off with my gorgeous pup before meeting the lovely Jo for lunch, where I ate an unnatural amount of chicken.
I vowed that I wouldn't spend any extra money on myself... this lasted approximately 10 minutes once I had entered Topshop. I left with a new dress and top, convincing myself I definitely deserved a Valentines Day treat to myself.
That evening I had all the girls round to my house for drinks before meeting all my other wonderful friends in town. One bar had a great Valentines game, where everyone was given one half of a famous couple and your job was to find the other half - once you did you got a free drink! Safe to say this kept me entertained for a long, long time. I had my own badge and my friends, which coincidentally were Gabrielle and Marge! How creepy is that! I only managed to find Homer, which considering how manic it was in there, was quite the achievement.

Last weekend we also celebrated my Mums birthday! My dad sorted out a surprise meal for her at a local restaurant; she arrived thinking it was going to be just the two of them, only to find my two brothers and I! Sean had come all the way from Cardiff to surprise her which was lovely. The food wasn't half bad either!

Uni has been particularly stressful at the moment, with lots of tutorials going on. I have worked out that I have 10 weeks until my hand in, something which has sent me in to a right panic. This week I was also given my final graduation date. I will be donning my cap and gown and striding on to a stage in front of hundreds of people on June 25th! I am so nervous at the thought of it, although finding a graduation dress is going to be so much fun!

Jo and I also have plans in place to head to Isle of Wright festival... something which poses a lovely new challenge with Margaret. It falls around June 6th, which will mean a whole year since my surgery. I can't think of a much better way to spend it than partying in a field of mud with my best friends, not letting Margaret hold me back.
You may all have seen the recent articles revealing that Sam Faiers, TOWIE and Celebrity Big Brother star, has recently been diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. She is 23 and has apparently been poorly for a while. Sam is a fairly high profile celebrity to have been diagnosed, which should have a huge impact on the number of people who read and learn about the disease. Although it is sad that it takes a celebrity to be diagnosed to get people to realise and listen. For the number of people that Crohn's and Ulcerative Colitis effects, it is largely not heard of and definitely not understood. I am six years down the line from where Sam is now and although she has a long and exhausting road ahead and I'm sure it all seems terrifying right now, I hope I am proof that she will be okay in the end. I wish her all the best in getting better and hope she keeps on smiling.

Lots of love
xxx

HELP

Hi everyone,

For my final major uni project I'm looking at peoples relationships with colour and how colour is linked to memories and emotions. 

If you have any stories, memories, rules or anecdotes which you associate (even vaguely) with a colour - please please get in touch. 

For example:

My mums health visitor told her that babies don't sleep well in yellow bedrooms 

My plan is to collect all these memories/stories and put them together in some form or another, most likely a book. By getting in touch, you'd be allowing me to use your story, quoting you of course. Let me know if you'd prefer to remain anonymous. 

It'll really help me so much. 

Lots of love 

XXX

January January January

Hi Guys, 

It's been a while since my last post, so I thought it was about time I updated you all on my goings on. 

I have spent most of January with my amazing friends, having some well deserved time for myself and having a lot of fun. This month has also included saying goodbye to another of my best girl friends, waving her off to Oz. Nashy left a week ago now, to join Cho down under. It is so weird that one by one most of my friends are heading round the world - at least there is another 5months before Zo and Hill go though... 

Bye Bye Nashy 

I also met up with a very old friend from Oz, Lauren. She and her family went to live there when we were about 12 and I have only seen her once, very briefly, since. It was so bizarre catching up with her after ten years but it was so lovely. So much has happened in ten years, its's hard to even remember back that far!

Me and Lauren

Harry and I on his birthday - one of my oldest and bestest friends.

Nashy, Hill, Me and Joey on Nashy's last night out

My New Years resolutions have so far been going quite well. 

I have at least one holiday sorted, I'm going away for two weeks with my family, probably to Spain - which will be amazing. I haven't been away in such a long time, I am craving the sun so badly. This means I definitely need to start the search for Margaret appropriate bikinis... something which I have a feeling may take a long while. Joey and I are also talking about our wild plans to visit loads of exciting places, so we'll see where we end up!

The running isn't going so well... one morning I did strap on my trainers, plug in my music and set off. It started off well, I felt great! After a short time I began to feel this almost burning pressure in my chest all the way up to my ears, and my breathing was getting heavier. I didn't think much of it, and just assumed it was due to my lack of exercise and running abilities. I stopped a couple of times and did some power walking and during a song pause I realised my breathing sounded horrific. It was a whistling, rasping, wheezing sound, the pain got worse and ended up having to walk home. My inhaler quickly fixed the problem, but it did put me off big time. Maybe running isn't my thing...

I am also happy to say that I have successfully given up McDonald's (and all other take aways) for the whole of January, which I am ashamed to say is the longest I have gone without one in probably 5-6 years! I am thinking of maybe trying for the whole of Feb or maybe just having one on the first of every month. We'll see how I feel tomorrow. It has meant that I have lost 3/4lbs - which I am not complaining about. 

I have begun my job back on my old Art Foundation course as a graduate teaching assistant. I am really loving it, and although it isn't exactly the age group I want to teach, it still feels good to be working with people and helping where I can. I think it has also built up my confidence about talking in front of groups of people, which is something I have always hated doing. 

I was recently approached by the Crohn's and Colitis charity to see whether I would be interested in possible further media opportunities - something which I of course said yes to. I would be nervous about having the focus on me, I hate being the centre of attention but it is also so important to me that people get to hear and understand about Crohn's and ostomies. I'm not sure where this is going but it is still quite exciting! 

Uni has been going really well and keeping me busy, although I know I need to get in to gear and really get going with my work. I know once I have found my groove and get the bug there will be no stopping me but until I find where I am going with my final major project it is hard to get motivated. My dissertation on the other hand is all done and dusted and I strangely really loved doing it. I love writting and was so passionate about my title that I now miss it! It felt so nerve wracking to hand it in after months of such hard work but it is also now a weight off my mind!

This month much of my focus has been on Toby, my gorgeous pup. He has now reached his full adult size, which is crazy because he is still so small. We've been going to puppy classes which are hilerious. Last week I was told off, in front of the whole class, for laughing at him - I can't help it, he is just the most comical dog! My friend Jo and I sat there trying not to burst in to fits of laughter, whilst the dog trainer went in to detail as to why it's bad to laugh at your dog, whilst pointing directly at me. It felt like being in school again! Tobes has managed to learn how to sit, lie down and wait for his food, but still barks when he wants attention but doesn't bark when he wants to go out - not helpful! He does, however, make me smile every day, he has made quite a tough and hurtful time so much happier and easier. I love him to absolute pieces. 

This is a very edited selection of photos, as my friends would tell you, I am obsessed with taking photos of Toby...

Margaret has been largely behaving herself, the area around her is slowly becoming more and more sore and red. There has been some open skin which I have managed to heal all by myself with the help of some powder. I have such sensitive skin, I think it is struggling with the constant adhesive - its like the skin is thinning. I also managed to catch a stomach bug - my first with Margaret. I managed to cope with it all quite well and didn't feel nearly as poorly as I would have been if I hadn't had Margie. This past week I have had a nasty flu like cold. It isn't as bad as flu I've had before, but I have still been feeling very poorly indeed. I have had to miss uni and most annoyingly a planned weekend away in Bristol with my friends. I am supposed to be there now and am so gutted to miss it! My lack of immune system and constant tiredness really does get in the way sometimes... 

I will try my very best to update you all much sooner next time, 

Lots of love 

xxx