After my last ranting post, I am incredibly pleased to fill you in with some very good news! Last Wednesday I graduated from the University of the Creative Arts, with a 2:1 in BA (Hons) Fashion Promotion & Imaging! After the longest three years (four if you include my Art Foundation) I am very relieved to have come out with a 2:1. Obviously I would have loved a 1st, something made all the more annoying by missing out on it by a tiny 2%?! I managed to get a 1st for my dissertation and my final major project which means that it largely came down to my 2nd year, to dragging my final grade down.
I hate, hate, hate to ever use Crohn's as an excuse or to ever let it get in the way but unfortunately sometimes, it seems to be unavoidable. Despite my hardest efforts I still wasn't able to achieve the 1st which I know I would have gotten if I hadn't been so poorly or missed so much Uni. Of course, a 2:1 is still an incredible achievement but for me, as a complete perfectionist I couldn't help but be a bit gutted that it managed to get in the way of my full potential. Sometimes it does feel that no amount of incredibly hard work will be able to counteract the 'crap' that comes with the disease. However, after the initial disappointment I can see how considering everything that has happened and the challenges I faced, especially in my 2nd year, I should be very happy.
So, after finding out my grade a couple of weeks ago, I headed to London Festival Hall on Wednesday for my graduation ceremony. Both my brothers couldn't make it so it was just me and my parents, which was still lovely. It was a long, tiring day and at times I got very hot and sweaty - which is not a great look - but all in all I loved it. My dress had been chosen weeks before, and I had tried on multiple different pieces of underwear to find the one which would disguise Margaret the best! I think the final choices worked very well.
At a couple of points I did have a mini panic that she would decide to leak everywhere and my white dress would do little to hide it. I did however go very prepared with a spare dress, just in case! After getting my gown and hat fitted and having my professional photos taken, we had just over an hour to kill, which we spent taking lots more photos. I got to see friends I haven't seen since the course finished and have photos taken with girls that have gone through 4 long years of blood, sweat and tears with me! Due to my Margaret paranoia I decided to try and eat as little as possible before the point of walking across stage. I ate some Haribo up on the train (very healthy) and a full fat coke, but apart from that I stayed away from food until after the ceremony. I just couldn't deal with having her be obvious in all my photos and in front of at thousands of people. In my day to day life I am largely pretty confident about having her, and don't think about it too much, but going on stage turned me in to a complete nervous wreck!
I was terrified before going on stage, I am not one to enjoy the spotlight or be the centre of attention, so having all eyes on me - even for just a couple of minutes - had me shaking. Thankfully, I did not fall over or make a complete fool out of myself, so once I was safely back in my seat I felt much calmer and properly felt that I could enjoy the rest of the day!
After the ceremony, the three of us headed to an amazing Italian restaurant near Covent Garden which finished off an amazing day wonderfully!
It was once home and after looking through the many, many photos I think the day really sunk in and for the first time I felt pretty, damn proud of myself.
XXX
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