Margaret is being a troublemaker! Clearly, I am going to have some issues with my new 'friend'.
You would think after the amount of attention she has had she wouldn't be playing up, but she is.
I changed the bag recently only to discover a gap had formed between Margaret and my tummy skin. It was only down one side at first and it looked like the stitches had come away or dissolved. I did think this looked a bit odd and so called up my colorectal ward for some advice. They explained that it isn't uncommon and it is called separation; there are various ways of treating it but it isn't an emergency. They advised that I head to my GP the next day to get someone to look at it to make sure there was no infection and that treatment would go from there. So bright and early the following day Mum and me headed to my GP surgery. A place where I feel I have spent much of late teens and 20s, every Dr and nurse knows me; in fact I think a plaque should be made in my honour.
In order for the Dr to take a look at Margaret I obviously had to remove the bag. This would be the first time I would be doing it under a bit of a time pressure and in front of anyone apart from my Mum. Luckily I had everything with me and was very prepared and I did it all pretty fast for a beginner.
Margaret decided this would be the perfect time to continue to spout continuous 'output'. Of all the times for her to be seriously active, it had to be when my Dr is staring at it. Thanks for that Margaret. Poor guy! She is starting to remind me of a child going through the terrible twos or a grumpy pensioner. It was like she had planned to be as difficult as possible. In the end he had to examine her with me holding a wodge of cloth to the opening.
Luckily, there was no awful smell; either that, or I have become immune but I made doubly sure by spraying his room with odour-killing spray.
He said there was no infection and that he thought as long as it remained clean and infection free, I would be able to wait to get a better opinion and further treatment from my stoma nurse next week. Which is good news! It does however mean that I am left in quite a lot of pain until I get it sorted. Having an open gap around a recent surgery site is pretty awful; lets hope I get it sorted soon.
I think Margaret brightened his day to be honest, probably made a nice change from your typical, boring coughs and colds.
I spent the rest of the day feeling utterly exhausted. It is probably the worst I have felt since I have been home from hospital. I think the constant pain makes everything way harder and I spent the day dozing on the sofa or zonked out asleep in bed.
I was once told that fatigue is when you can't hold your arms above your head. I never understood how anyone could not have the energy to even do that until the past few months. It is a tiredness and lack of energy that is hard to explain until you have been through it.
Having a cuddle with my doggy, Harry
I had planned to get my Mary back on and bake something but really didn't feel like it so my Mumma made me a batch instead!
They are delicious!
In the past two days I have also received two of the mot gorgeous bunches of flowers! One arrived from my lovely next door neighbours, who saw me and thought I looked so well I deserved some roses.
On my bad day I was also woken up by my Mum with the a beautiful bouquet, which had been dropped round by my friend Becky R. I haven't seen her in so long as she has been on a year abroad as part of her Uni course and she has only just got back, we are going to catch up properly soon but the flowers she dropped by are stunning! Her florist sister, Heather, has definitely found her calling in life and had put together the loveliest bunch for me.
People have worried that I am going to be overloaded with flowers but every single bunch puts a smile on my face! They really do cheer me up and I am so grateful to everyone who goes out of their way to make my recovery time a little bit brighter. Going through all of this has highlighted that there really are some wonderful, kind people in this world; and that I seem to be surrounded by most of them. I have received lots of beautiful cards in the post from such lovely people, it really is the small things that brighten up my day when I'm feeling low. Whether it is a bunch of flowers, a pretty card or a message from a complete stranger; I am constantly astonished by how lovely people are!
Margaret has also had her first trip out of the house! I went on a little wander in to town with my Mum, for a mooch around the shops and a spot of light lunch. It felt so good to be normal and although initially I was a bit self conscious that others would be able to see Margaret under my clothes, I soon forgot about that and got on with my shopping! We headed to Cath Kidson; which I love & I got a small bag to hold all of my portable Margaret kit; I swear she needs more stuff than me! The nice lady kept asking if I needed anything and was I buying a make up bag; her face was slightly taken a back when I explained it was to carry my stoma kit, but she was very professional and helped me pick one that is perfect!
Having a spot of lunch with Mum and Margaret
One problem I have found with the open gap around Margaret is that when the bag has anything in it, it starts to drag down on the wound, this is as painful as it sounds. The only way I have found to make life slightly less painful is to hold the bag up in my hand, like a little hammock. Yes, in essence I am holding a small bag of my own poo. The struggle comes when I need to use two hands and have to try and convince someone it really isn't gross for them to hold up the bag for me whilst I tie my hair up/do up my bra/pull on a top. Luckily this will only go on for the next few days, until I see my nurse and can have the wound dressed and covered.
Today is Fathers Day, and so after two days of feeling very tired and worn down, Margaret had her second outing. This time to the pub! Mum, Dad, Matt, Margaret and I headed to a local for a bit to eat and a nice relaxing lunch time as the weather has been pretty awful. It was nice to get out and dressed into my usual clothes! I have decided to take photos of clothes I am wearing, and how I can work around looking nice with Margaret. I'll be posting more of these photos soon!
Happy Fathers Day to the best Dad ever!
Lots of love
xxx
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