So recently something pretty horrific happened. A guy I went to school with lost his life in an RTA whilst driving home. I didn't know him well and we hadn't kept in touch since we left school five years ago but he was in my school house and I'd known him since we were 11. Considering we weren't close friends the shock was huge, I felt pretty angry at the injustice of it. How unfair it was that this could happen to someone so young and so lovely and just like that, out of nowhere. What happened to this brilliant school friend really bought me back down to earth because you know what, life is too fucking short.
When I was really poorly and Margaret was looking more and more likely, I promised myself that once I was better I would do lots of amazing things. I wouldn't take 'normal' life for granted and would make the most of every situation. Recently I think I've forgotten this. I worry about moving house and not making friends, I worry that I need to lose weight and that Chroma isn't moving as fast as it should, I stress about what other people might think about Margaret and whether I should cut my hair short or not. Frankly, would I lie on my death bed wishing I hadn't cut my hair or that I hadn't moved out - I'd like to think not. These unnecessary stresses and worries take up way too much of my life and probably lots of other peoples. Delayed trains, traffic jams, missing a delivery or getting locked out, yes are irritating but really, there are worse things that could happen. Does Margaret even really matter all that much?
The untimely death of James has made me appreciate everything and everyone a whole lot more. Thanks to you, James, I'm going to grab life by the balls, not be such a scaredy cat & tell everyone I love them a whole lot more.
On that note I cut a good 8 inches off my hair... I've been thinking about it for ages and finally this week thought why the hell not. Baby steps to brave Gabi eh...
No comments:
Post a Comment