So yesterday I had my wonderful colonoscopy.
The prep started Wednesday night with having to give myself two enemas... lets just say the less we talk about that the better. Although not painful and hideous like last time, it still wasn't pleasant. It baffles me how people opt to do that kind of thing, out of choice...
Anyway, I was up bright and early yesterday morning to get to the hospital for 7:30am. Nerves meant I had barely slept the night before so had to drag myself out of bed with only 4 hours sleep. Mum drove me to the hospital and I checked in as usual, in to bay E3 (I hate the number 3 - not a good start). I had to change in to a gown, awful socks and was visited by various nurses, my anaesthetist and surgeon. Luckily I was the first person in to surgery, which meant I only had to wait about an hour before being escorted to the surgery room. Normally this is done by a nurse but this time I headed down with the surgeon himself. He was cracking jokes the whole way which did actually put me at ease. I knew what was coming and so strangely didn't really feel too nervous as I led down on the bed and had my blood pressure taken, heart rate monitors fitted and finally a cannula put in my hand. As I went off to sleep the nurse and anaesthetists were chatting about The Tower of London and London Dungeons... not the nicest thing to hear before you're sedated.
The next thing I remember is being jolted awake, I must have been sleeping really deeply as I woke up with such a shock and the tube still down my throat. Within a second it was removed which although was bizarre, didn't frighten me like you'd think it might. I was given an oxygen mask and had everything checked over. Apparently I had been asleep for half an hour, which is such a strange thought. I overheard a nurse say "keep a nurse with her, after what happened" - this massively freaked me out and I became convinced that something terrible had occurred and nobody had told me yet. I asked if everything was alright and a nurse said that there had been no complications and the surgeon would come to see me soon. I started shivering which now that I think of it, did happen the last time I was given a general anaesthetic. Apparently it is quite a common reaction and I was given an extra blanket. At this point I was wheeled back to my E3 bay and my Mum was bought through.
Apparently I was chatting away and repeated myself twice, although I can't remember any of this. I was brought some jam on toast and some water and waited to feel a bit more awake. It is crazy how worn out you feel whilst still coming round. I remember moving my leg and thinking that it would have to stay there for hours because I was definitely too tired to move it again. Time also goes by so quickly, one minute it was 10:00 the next 11:00. This is when the surgeon came through to see me and told me news I wasn't looking forward to hearing.
He explained that although there had been no complications there were areas of my intestine that the probe/camera wire could not fit through, no matter how hard he tried. This meant they had to take my bag off and go through Margaret to get a good look at the other side. Now this probe thing is probably the size of, if not smaller than my little finger, the fact that my intestine was so damaged/scarred that it couldn't fit through was hardly confidence building news. He then went on to tell me that there was some Crohn's along the right side of my intestine and that the 'perianal' (the bit nearest your bum) was also badly scarred and he had his doubts that it would work effectively again, explaining that he would be concerned that if I were to have Margaret reversed I may not be able to control my bowels properly. He did say that all the results from the biopsies would be examined further and that my consultant would get in touch and give me the final results. Now although this is still a month away, the answer was pretty clear. The likelihood of me having Margaret reversed is looking even slimmer. Obviously, I am pretty gutted but I think I knew deep down that that was the case anyway. I have been tired recently and my knee has been bothering me a bit, so the fact that I had Crohn's there didn't surprise me. The fact that it is the perianal area which is so badly damaged is also tough to hear as this area can't really be removed or resected, which doesn't give me many other options other than to keep Margaret. The surgeon also told me that if I were to have children in the future they would need to be born via cesarian rather than naturally due to the state of my perianal area.
I was eventually discharged after the nurse made sure I could wee and walk on my own and Mum and I headed home. All I wanted to do was crawl in to bed, which is where I spent pretty much of the remainder of the day, although I did eventually get up to eat some pancakes (of course). Last night I had another rubbish sleep and have been worn out and feeling pretty rubbish ever since, most of this will be down to the anaesthetic getting out of my system. Today I've also had various mind blanks, becoming unable to remember my pin code or what I walked in to a room to get, which is bizarre but again down to the anaesthetic. I will hopefully feel a bit more human again over the weekend.
The news is obviously not what I wanted to hear and although not 100% confirmed, was made pretty obvious, but we shall see what the consultant says in November. I think it is going to take me a while to get my head around
Lots of love,
Gabi xxx
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