Change of Direction

Hi Guys,

I want to start off today by saying a huge thank you to you all. I forgot to mention but a few weeks ago I hit 50,000 views on my little blog. This is all down to all you amazing readers, so thank you all so much for continuing to read and share my story. Please do keep on sharing and help me raise awareness for this nasty disease and living with a stoma.

As you all know I managed to get a stomach virus of some sort last week but I am happy to say I am feeling so much better! One thing which has yet to get completely better since the surgery is my level of tiredness. I am always feeling tired, when people ask how I am I have to stop myself replying with, "Yeah I'm good, just tired"...
I hate it. I wake up tired, and spend all day at a level of tiredness before going to bed exhausted. I think most of the time if I closed my eyes I would drift off in minutes. Although I am not feeling poorly or sick, I am still always feeling a bit under par. In fact, I can't remember the last time I woke up and felt ready for the day - no matter what time I get out of bed. It is insanely frustrating!
- If any of my fellow Crohn's / Stoma friends have had the same, or have any tips please get in touch and leave a comment!

One day, years ago, when I was having an Infliximab infusion (an infusion of drugs which you are given through a drip over the course of a day) I had a lovely nurse looking after me. One of her best friends had Crohn's and had described it so well.

"Having Crohn's is like you are always recovering from a nasty cold. The few days afterwards when you are fully functioning but feeling a bit run down and under par - that... but all the time"

She had it bang on. I am always feeling under par. For a while we thought that it may be down to being anaemic or something but I have had all of my vitamin levels checked and everything is normal. According to my Dr it is simply having the disease and having recent surgery. Don't get me wrong I still try and do everything I want to - I just do it tired.
I hope that one day I won't be so tired all the time and will be able to wake up refreshed! Heres hoping anyway!

I have also had a big change of thought in regards to my future and career. After a lot of thinking and going back and forth I have decided that the fashion industry is just not for me. I love the idea of it and some aspects of it but after many internships the reality is just not for me. I have watched people slog it out at the bottom of the pile for years and years before being employed as an assistant. I do not like the idea of getting my first permanent job at the age of 30 having worked as an intern or on minimum wage until then. I also do not want to live in London, I love the city but at the end of a long day I want nothing more than to leave it all behind. Since living in England I have always lived in the country and can't ever see it being any other way. That would leave me with a commute, which I truly hate. I am so grateful for all of my internships and work placements and they have helped me beyond belief. They have made me realise that the industry just isn't what I want. I still love it and have been really lucky to have been a part of it.
Luckily I have always had a career idea in the back of my mind, and that is teaching. I have always loved children and have worked with them since I was 16. I have had various after school and holiday club jobs as well as childminding and babysitting. I have done work experience in a few schools and have always loved it.
It really hit me when I was helping Matt's sister, Hannah, sort out her first classroom for the start of term and I found myself so jealous. It was the weekend before Vogue and all I could think about was that I would much rather be teaching than heading in to London to work at the magazine.
I have decided that after my final year of my degree I will complete my PGCE to become a primary school teacher. Big news and big decision eh!

This past week also marked my parents 25th Wedding Anniversary. They spent five days in Venice and returned on Tuesday, which was their actual anniversary date. My brothers and I put together a hamper for them of all their favourite foods and drinks. I also made a scrapbook of their time together, from their childhoods, through their teenage years, years as a couple, wedding day, honeymoon and births of us three! It made my Mum cry and cry - which of course was the desired effect after the hours it took me! We then went out for a family meal, the five of us and Matt, to celebrate!
I love my parents to death and they have been incredible throughout everything I have been through.

I also sorted out a photo to be taken of the three of us and the dogs. Mum has mentioned many times that there is no up to date photos of us all so I thought it would be perfect to organise one. I tried various times to sort out a professional photographer but every time it had to be cancelled. In the end we had Matt take a few in the garden, which actually turned out great! It took so long to get the dogs to do what we wanted but after many attempts we got a few which were okay!

The coming week is going to be spent doing some work exp in a primary school before starting Uni and childminding the week after!
Lets hope I can stay awake! I will leave you with some photos of my week,

Lots of love
xxxx