Halloween and Cake!

Hey Guys,

Sorry for the delay in posting!
I had the best birthday night out, I ended up wearing the black spotty dress (seen in my last post). Matt and I were running late and ended up running for the train, we got there in the end with the help of Harry picking us up half way. We opened a bottle of champagne on the train and caught up with everyone. The food at TGIs was so good, it has been my favourite place to eat for ages and I haven't been in months, way before Margaret. We sipped cocktails and ate way too much and right at the end of the meal I was instructed to stand on my chair, had a huge balloon hat plonked on my head and had happy birthday sung to me in front of the whole restaurant. It was slightly embarrassing especially as I was wearing a pretty short dress. After dinner we headed to a cocktail bar which was so good.
I had to empty Margaret but there were only two small toilets, neither of which flushed... I was a bit embarrassed and didn't know what to do. Matt came and saved the day explaining to the bar man that I had recently had surgery on my intestine and needed somewhere a bit more private and discrete to use the loo. The bar man then took us outside, through two coded doors and in to the locked shopping centre to open a disabled toilet for me! What a star. I am a lucky girl to have such a supportive boyfriend.

This past weekend I headed to my friend, Pheeb's Birthday/Halloween party. Originally I was going to go as a cow, purely because I have a cow mask which I have never worn - it moo's and everything. After much thought I changed my mind and opted for a witch, which was the scarier option. Matt went as a clown and I did his face paint for him! I have to say I think he looked really good! and pretty creepy...

Margaret again had another leak in the night, something I am slowly getting exhausted by. This time I didn't get up quite in time and had to strip the sheet and mattress topper whilst poor Matt was sleeping. Luckily he just rolled over and had no real memory of it in the morning. I really can't work out why it keeps on happening, it is always on day 3 of having the bag on - maybe I just need to change it more frequently! I am also suffering with the bag ballooning with gas at night time, this doesn't trouble me in the day but the moment I lie down thats it, the whole bag fills to bursting point with gas. This is very irritating but apparently completely normal - I guess I just need to man up and get used to getting out of bed once a night...
In the past week I have also had around 6 or 7 people ask me for advice or tips about medication, ostomies or Crohn's. I am more than happy to answer any questions anyone might have and was thinking of maybe setting up a question box on my blog for those who don't have my direct contact details...
what do you think?

This past week I have also done a lot of baking! I have made a victoria sponge with butter cream icing, vanilla cupcakes and finally an apple, cinnamon and raisen cake. I have definitely gotten the baking bug again!

Its half term at the mo so I am crazy busy juggling babysitting and Uni, but I will do my best to update it soon!
Lots of love
x

Belly Warmers & Belated Birthday Celebrations

Hi Guys

So last week I was contacted by a lovely lady, and reader of my blog, about some her products. We had a quick chat and she explained all about NukuNuku. I did a quick google search and was very intrigued and was lucky enough to have one sent over!
Nukuku are a range of haramaki belly warmers, bought over from Japan, where they wear them all the time! They are basically a band of fabric which you wear around your belly, which can have a variety of benefits. I chose black as I thought it would go with everything and was so excited when the package came through the door.
I was a bit sceptical as it really does look like a piece of fabric, and I couldn't see what was so different about them, or why they were so special!

I quickly popped it on and put my pyjamas on over the top, and I tell you I could sleep in this thing it is so comfy. It is like having an extra warm layer across your middle, which is an obvious benefit in this cold weather! It doesn't cut in to me at all, and works even with a growing Margaret. I am a big lover of the hot water bottle and have always used them to soothe painful stomach cramps or to provide comfort and warmth - this belly band does a similar thing but in a much more practical way. It also provides a sense of support for Margaret. As some of you may have seen, I have used a support band before, provided by one the ostomy care companies - and this belly band beats that one hands down. I have yet to test it out under normal clothing, so as yet, do not know how it lies under my clothes, but I will let you know. I did end up sleeping in it one night and found that it did ride up and became annoying and uncomfortable - saying that, they probably aren't made for sleeping in.
If any of you want to check them out, you can find them at NUKUNUKU
Check them out and let me know what you think!

I have been incredibly busy the last few weeks, I am well in to the swing of things at Uni, going in 1-3  mornings a week, I have also been doing a lot of childminding/babysitting - which I am finding exhausting! It is great practice and experience for when I do my teacher training but it is so draining. My tutors are gobsmacked that I am trying to do it all, especially as it is my final and most important year! I get home, eat, shower and go straight to bed - which is pretty boring!
In the past couple of days Margaret has leaked twice.
The first time, I was exhausted. I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. Once it was all sorted out I then couldn't get back to sleep for an hour. I tell you, the next day was a huge struggle. I don't understand why she leaked! It drives me crazy, and at 2am really gets me down. As my life gets back to normal I do find myself wishing that I didn't have her. Although it is down to her that I am feeling better, I wish I could just be healthy without the hassle of having her there.
I also wish that I could have a break from her. I hate that I can't take her off for more than ten minutes at a time or when I am in the shower. I wish for a couple of hours I could whip her off and not have it there. It's odd that even though most of the time I can't feel her there, if I think about it too much I start to feel strangely claustrophobic.

Today I had an appointment with my gastro-consultant, and it went really well. I have halved my dose of the Humira injections to one every two weeks, which I am so glad about - they aren't the nicest thing to have to do every week. All in all it was so positive. I told her all about this blog (without mentioning Margaret's name) and she thought it was brilliant. I have put on some weight, which was inevitable as I am now eating properly, however, I would like to lose a few pounds and tone up.
There was the loveliest nurse in the outpatients department, we chatted for a while and she was so friendly and kind. When I was later waiting for my bloods in another room, she walked through and gave me the biggest smile and wave! It really made my day!
Talking of blood tests, my arm was pretty butchered today. The first attempt didn't work so she stuck a whopping great big needle in my left arm for a second try. I have to say, it was one of the more painful blood tests I have had to have done. It ached for a good hour afterwards, which I have never had before. She didn't even crack a smile!

My weekend is looking like its going to be a good one! I have more babysitting and Saturday night I am heading out with some of my gorgeous friends for a belated birthday meal and night out full of cocktails! I can't wait despite really struggling with what to wear. I have narrowed it down to three options...

Let me know what ya think!
Lots of love
xxx

The Best Birthday Weekend!

AAgain it has been a long while since my last post, very sorry about that!
So last weekend was my 22nd Birthday - Friday 4th October! - I woke up that morning bright and early to open some gifts and cards before everyone went off to work and school. Matt had taken the day off which I was so glad about, as my last birthday I spent all day on my tod! I got some lovely gifts including a list-making notebook, something I was SO excited about... & the most beautiful Michael Kors watch. I have wanted one for a while so was made up with I got it! A very happy girl indeed.

When all my cards were opened, Matt turned to me and asked,

"Have you packed a bag then?"

I did look a bit confused, with no idea what he was on about! I knew he had planned something for the Saturday as I was told not to arrange anything with my friends on that day. Anyway, it turns out he had planned a long weekend away in London including an afternoon at the Harry Potter Studios! I was so so excited, especially as I had just over an hour to pack and get ready before heading off to the train station. We quickly packed a bag and headed off for what was to be the best weekend I have had in a very long time!
The Harry Potter Studio Tour was everything I thought it would be, I am a die hard Harry Potter fan and have wanted to go for so so long. Matt on the other hand isn't such a fan, but actually really enjoyed it. I found it amazing being able to walk in to the great hall and be so close to all the sets and props as well as find out how it all worked behind the scenes! I tried butterbeer which wasn't so tasty but the free cup was great!

After the tour had ended we headed to find our hotel. Matt had booked us two nights at The Mayfair Hotel, an incredible five star hotel! I have never stayed in such an amazing place. The room was beautiful and we were treated like royalty. Matt had organised for strawberries, chocolate and champagne for when we got to our room - which was so lovely. That evening we headed out to Soho and Piccadilly Circus, as Matt had never been. We had an amazing dinner and cocktails. I then spotted one of the men on bikes which a carriage thing at the back. I have wanted to go on one for a very long time and this seemed like the best opportunity! Matt asked the guy how much it was to get back to Piccadilly Circus, to which he replied £10. Before Matt had the chance to reply I accepted the offer and jumped in; I think the wine had something to do with that! Matt rolled his eyes before asking for some 'romantic music - like Enrique' - just to embarrass me I'm sure! The lovely man put on 'One Direction - Little Things' to which I pealed with laughter. We wrapped ourselves in a blanket as we whizzed through traffic - despite the fact I thought we may crash, it was honestly one of the happiest moments of my life! I was so so happy. The whole journey lasted less than the one song, Matt was outraged at the huge amount of money such a small journey cost, but it made me so happy, so I think it was worth it. & what a way to end my birthday!
We ended up heading back to the hotel quite early - we were both shattered after such a long day, and the amazing bed was too much to ignore!

The following day we woke up at 10 and headed down to breakfast which was out of this world! I loved every mouthful, we were presented with everything you could possibly wish for! Full English, meat, cheese, breads, cereals, fruits, salmon, eggs, waffles and pancakes were there for the taking. Breakfast is normally my least favourite meal of the day but in this instance it was definitely my favourite. Our day was spent shopping and eating lovely food. We met up with one of our lovely friends, another Matt, and spent a long afternoon at a shisha bar in Mayfair which was so relaxed.
We decided not to head out that evening and instead ordered in room service (twice!) and had a drink in the hotel bar. Another amazing day.

I was absolutely heart broken to leave the hotel the following morning. The weekend has gone so quick yet it felt like weeks since we had left home. We did spend the rest of the day in Covent Garden, having drinks and yummy food whilst watching some hilarious street entertainers. I was gutted to leave London and get back to the real world after the most amazing weekend. It was so good to spend some time away with Matt - it had been over two years since we had gone away together! & after what can be described as the worst year of my life, I felt that we definitely deserved it.
Margaret did pretty much behave herself whilst we were away. I don't know how much she loved the alcohol or huge amounts of food we had though! I woke up that first morning to find the adhesive had lifted away! Luckily I had bought lots of spare stuff with me so I didn't need to worry. I did however find that the alcohol bloated me a lot - it never really used to, but this time my tummy swelled up like a beach ball, I thought I was going to pop! Maybe it is the type of alcohol I had - too many cocktails!

All in all I had the loveliest birthday - definitely one of the best I have ever had! Matt had gone to so much trouble and spoilt me rotten - I want to go back.

The last week in the real world, has been long and tiring. Juggling Uni with babysitting duties has been very tough and I am worried about it all, but I am sure it'll be okay.

I will try my best to blog much sooner and update you all!
Lots of love
xxx

Allergic Reaction & a Big Work Load

Hi Guys!

In the past few days I have had lots of wonderful high profile people tweet and spread the word about this blog! The likes of Hilary Alexander, Abbey Clancy, Gemma Cairney, Frank Turner and for all of you Strictly fans out there, Karen Hauer and Kristina Rihanoff! I am so grateful that these lovely people  have helped raise awareness for a disease that not many people understand or know about. It is also fantastic that it is getting people talking about stomas and ostomies - something which many people are too embarrassed to mention.

The past week has been spent babysitting and doing Uni work - it has taken me all week to get back in to the swing of doing work and being busy every day. It sounds terrible but I haven't had to be busy for a long time. It does, however, feel so good to use my brain and get stuff done. I am a bit concerned with how much I am taking on - I start my new job next week and have been terrified by the amount of Uni work I have to do. It is very frightening.

I also managed to complete my first ever cardio gym class for the first time since Margaret. I have of course done my run and a few pilates classes but as yet had not done more than thirty minutes of cardio exercise. I arrived to the class a bit apprehensive but had picked a circuit class which was described as 'more relaxed' and 'great for beginners' - I figured this was a good place to start. There were only five other women there initially - they all seemed pretty relaxed, one even came with a cup of tea, I did worry that I was taking on a particularly easy class that would end up being a waste of money. But I tell you, these women were incredible. We were joined by ten or so more women of varying ages and it was quite the work out. I really did enjoy it but also came away sweaty, red faced and pretty gross.

The problem I have found in the past with a couple of other classes is that by half an hour in I am struggling to keep up. Hopefully this is something I will be able to improve on and will be tackling some hard on work outs!

Friday I ventured out on a dog walk with Matt and Jake, which was brilliant except for a nasty allergic reaction. I don't know if I inhaled something but I somehow came in to contact with something which caused my eyes and sinuses to swell up, my eyes were itchy and streaming, I couldn't breathe through my nose and my whole face was itching. The symptoms didn't wear off for a good 24 hours, which was not ideal for baby sitting. I looked down right terrible!

Saturday Matt headed off to Southampton for a Palace game - leaving me at home with his 'lovely' Palace jumper. I hate the thing and threatened to dispose of it whilst he wasn't around!

I have begun to write my dissertation which is about gender stereotypes in Disney films and how they effect children.
I am also at the start of figuring out my final major project subject and I think I am going to base it on IBD and body image. It is only early days but I may need to call on all my readers to help with things such as surveys and interviews.
Is this something which any of you would be okay to help with? I am looking for any IBD sufferer and in particular those with a stoma.

This next Friday is my 22nd birthday! It also marks a year from when things went particularly down hill, so I can't wait for this birthday to celebrate getting better.

Lots of love
xxx

The Scarf

Hi Guys!

So I am pretty much recovered from nasty tonsillitis. It is amazing how quickly the antibiotics work, and although I have a couple days left to take, it should be all cleared up soon! You'll be pleased to know my mood is also better, and I am back to my usual self.
Friday night I babysat before heading home to my brothers 17th birthday party. Matt and our friend, Dave, were on 'bouncer' duties - making sure everything was under control.
Saturday Matt and I headed to The Royal County of Berkshire Show, which we go to every year. Taking Matt to this show would be like to taking me to Disney Land. It is SO up his street, with all sorts of animals, food, power tools and landscaping/farming equipment. The highlights of the day included walking through the food hall, trying to nab as many freebies as possible and going round a 4x4 track. I also came across an amazing find! I found myself a scarf. & not just any scarf... This scarf has dachshunds on it!
For those of you that don't know, I am dying for my very own long haired miniature dachshund! This beautiful scarf is covered in the little dogs. There I was strolling along with Matt before spotting it, screaming and running across the streams of people to get a closer look! I looked completely ridiculous but of course I had to get it and Matt haggled so it was cheap as chips. I was a very happy lady!

We then walked past a fair ground like stall with two games to try and win. Up for grabs were pretty large, stuffed farm yard animals. Most of the time I wouldn't have wasted my money; everyone knows these stalls are designed to be a lot trickier than they look and people rarely win, but my eyes set on the funniest toy pig. We are talking quite a big, pink, fluffy, stuffed pig. I decided to give one game a go, whilst Matt tried the other. There we were stood amongst small children trying to win a stuffed animal. Unfortunately 15 minutes and £7 later neither of us won... unlike the two boys next to us who BOTH won and picked a huge cow each. As much as I loved the pig, we decided that we wouldn't pay the £25 it cost to buy it out right. Looking back this was a very sensible decision.

We spent the rest of the time wandering amongst the stalls, I came away with some gorgeous bread and obviously my beautiful scarf. Matt came home with a chain and some jump leads - very exciting - but he was a happy chappy! Between us we also picked three different flavour ciders to share! 

We also bought my Mum a metal, painted cockerel - I know, sounds ridiculous, but she loved it and it does look pretty smart in our conservatory. 

On Sunday, Matt and I drove to Crystal Palace to watch them play against Swansea - they lost but I had a great time, despite the area we were sat in smelling of yoghurt...

It has been so lovely to spend time with Matt and we had such a good weekend. I was shattered and fell asleep super early on Sunday night but it was definitely worth it. 

This morning was my first day back at Uni for third year. I wasn't nervous about the work or anything, I was however nervous about Margaret. This would be Margaret's first day at Uni. I wasn't concerned about actually dealing with Margaret but I was pretty nervous about the fact that everyone knows about her. I knew it would only be natural for people to look and see if they could see her or ask how I was doing, but the thought of going in to a huge room where many people know I have an ostomy bag was pretty daunting. I didn't want people to feel awkward or not know how to approach me. 

In the end it was all fine, and I barely gave Margaret a second thought! The work load however, is incredibly scary, but I guess that is what third year is all about. 

Brand new notebook - best part of stating a new year!

I now have a bit of a favour to ask you guys. 

My friend, Lottie, is also in her third year of her degree in Photography. She is currently brainstorming ideas for final projects and has discussed looking at people with IBD. 

I was wondering if any of my lovely, fellow IBD sufferers and stoma owners would be willing to be contacting by Lottie for some more information. If this is okay with you, please comment here or message me on my twitter @gabicox12

Thank you all so much! 

Lots of love

xxx

Your Help is Needed

Hi Guys!

I have a favour to ask you all. I am starting to put everything together for my dissertation & I would be so grateful if you could all fill out a survey for me. It will take less than 5 minutes and is only 8 questions.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/D5SXMJ9

Thank you all very much
Lots of love
xxx

Down in the Dumps

Hi Guys,

So I am not feeling to great at the mo!
I started feeling a bit gross on Sunday afternoon - headache and sore throat, so I took paracetamol hoping it would blow over. I woke up that night at about 3am, feeling down right awful. My head was pounding and I couldn't swallow. I topped up the painkillers and tried to get back to sleep but it was so disrupted and I tossed and turned the whole night.
Monday morning came and I was feeling no better, I had a temperature of 38.4 and my throat was only getting worse, weirdly I didn't have a blocked nose, sinus issues or a cough. I ended up having to miss working at the school. I set myself up for a day in bed, and slept away the hours feeling anxious and sorry for myself. I tried to eat some lunch but only managed a mouthful of chicken and a chip, dinner was no better with only a mouthful of Dads home made pork burger - which is usually a favourite of mine! I felt so run down, tired and poorly. I got myself into a a bit of a state Monday night, I think I was over tired, hungry and feeling terrible - well thats what I'm blaming my over emotional state on anyway!
Last night was yet another disrupted sleep. My temperature was climbing and I was alternating between being freezing cold with goosebumps to having sweat run down my back. I had to change pyjamas a couple of time in the night.
This morning I felt no better, in fact, I felt ten times worse. My throat is so bad that I am really struggling to drink or swallow saliva, let alone eat anything!
After a day of feeling horrific and wishing someone was home with me, I booked myself in to see the Dr. Mum drove me down after work were I was swiftly handed a load of penicillin. I have tonsillitis. Lucky me eh! My non existent immune system has let another horrible bug swan in and take over.
I now have a stack of antibiotics, Lemsip, Strepsils, paracetamol, asprin for gargling and ice cream in the freezer. I have yet to eat anything more than a mouthful since Sunday night and I am honestly feeling terrible.

Tonsillitis symptoms aside, I am also royally fed up. I am missing out on a placement that I was so so excited about! It feels like every time I spend more than a couple of days out in the 'real world' I swiftly get knocked back down. At Vogue it was the stomach virus and after two days with the children at the end of last week, I now have this. It makes me very anxious about getting through anything. I know I was poorly for nearly a year, I had major surgery to recover from and I am on a whole host of immunosuppressant drugs - but this is a joke.
I am thoroughly annoyed and down in the dumps. I want to wake up and not be tired, not catch every bug going and not have to wonder how I am going to get through the week or even day ahead.

I always try to have a good positive, outlook on life and the future, despite everything, but it gets hard when I am constantly feeling knocked back.
I am also very conscious of being 'ill all the time', to my family, friends and Matt is must feel like it is always one thing after another. I hate being the 'ill one'.

Marget is also not impressed, I am definitely dehydrated and due to not eating anything I have only had to empty her once all day... At least I have a break from all that, & may drop a few pounds eh!

Sorry for the rant - it is definitely fuelled by lack of sleep, food and feeling awful. I do, however, feel it is important to document these ups 'n' downs - it's not always plain sailing.
I will of course be back soon, and hopefully in a much better mood.
Lots of love
xxx